Of all the classes that I took about adolescent social work, community building, social change on a policy level, Board governance and volunteer management, from teachers with insane resumes and books in their name; what grad school taught me most was how to breathe.
I won’t belittle my own intelligence or the amount of money I spent to attend a prestigious university (with such smart people running the place, you would think your graduate experience wouldn’t cost more than your earning potential in said field…but i digress). I did in fact learn a lot more about being an effective therapist and learned how to best meet a client where they stand, not forcing them to conform to your agenda. But the thing that I carry with me and use daily, now that I am not in a direct service role and in my personal life (especially in my personal life), is breathing.
My first semester of grad school, after having taken a year off to decide if I was really going to do it, left me feeling inept and unsure of my ability to do the work. I was so stressed and my body felt stressed, to the point of discomfort while I was sitting in class or working. One evening in a debriefing class used to augment our field practicums (internships) my instructor passed out an article about self care. Breathing was No.2 on the list of ways to care for yourself and your body.
Even if you aren’t losing it in graduate school (I did settle down eventually, and kick-ass at getting that MSW behind my name, in case your wondering) maybe you are working in your first job post graduation ,or you have been working for years and are facing a job transition, or your kids are driving you nuts, maybe you are having an easy go of things at the moment except this one work project (and boss) that is driving you nuts…try this:
sit still.
zone out.
maybe close your eyes if you feel like it.
breathe in through your nose with your mouth shut.
big, until your lungs hurt and your stomach is sticking out.
then, slowly release your breath through your mouth, until your stomach scrunches up with the effort of pushing out the air.
Repeat, 3-4 times.
All that oxygen makes you realize the speed at which you’ve been hurtling around your world. Makes you realize the stress you have been holding between your shoulders. those seconds, just breathing, lowers your heart rate, stops the thoughts scrolling and slows things down to a manageable level.
How often did I think about my breathing before the self-care article? Little to none.
Now, I try to remember to take at least a set of three deep breaths a day. This helps me realize that I am even feeling tense as my body relaxes. It also gives me perspective and sometimes clarity.
Try it, I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.
J.