I went walking late a few nights ago, totally on a whim. Just randomly decided to go out and stroll. It was relatively late, probably around 11:00 p.m. For some reason I just started thinking about you and got very emotional. And then here I was walking through the streets for a couple of hours just wandering and thinking, growing more emotional as I went. It was very odd timing wise. There was nothing specific that happened in my day or came up to remind me of you. I suppose it was slightly close to the 1 year anniversary of your passing (which you so cleverly planned to be the exact date of your wedding anniversary, such a planner).
Anyway I just wanted to write about that night so I could remember it in my mind. Try to keep the memory vivid. It felt great to walk and just think about you, try to ask you questions (I even asked them out load most of the time, if anyone saw me walking teary eyed talking to myself I was probably quite a funny site).
The bigger question is why did that walk happen when it did, what is the reason behind the timing. I’ve obviously still come no where near close to processing that your gone. I still find myself if not on a daily basis then for sure on a weekly basis thinking about something I was to talk to you about or ask you… and then I actually remember that I can’t. I still find it very troubling.