Have a strange relationship to smoking weed. Growing up never did it, did not smoke at all until I was about 31 years old. I’m not sure when it started happening, but I smoked a handful of times and somewhere along the line I realized I can control my mind more when I smoke.
I’ve always heard the line that we can only control 10 or 12% of our brains, or something like that. And I’m not saying when I smoke I jump to 95% control and I’m rain man solving math problems in my head, but it does feel like maybe I jump up to 16% or maybe 18% control.
I can more or less fully control my focus, what I think about. Normally I can’t really control the lazer focus of my mind. If I can get lazer focused on something, I can usually solve that thing. But typically ideas come floating into my head and that is not really fully under my control. I have to jump on the idea I want to work on once it comes into my head if that makes since. I also have to write ideas down if I want to have any chance of remembering them.
But when I smoke its like boom, I choose what I want to think about. I still need to write the ideas down to remember them long term, but it gets burned into my mind more. Let’s say an idea is generally in my mind for 5 or 6 minutes, but if I smoke I probably have of 5 or 6 hours to write it down – it slows my mind down in that way. I can also choose to control my thinking fully, can block everything else out, can block out literally the rest of the world, I don’t actually see my surroundings. Which this is something I kinda love, and also kinda hate. It is pretty hard to get into this focused zone 100% sober, and when I don’t get into this focused zone I’m never fully happy with the work I complete because I know it can be done better if I fully focused on it.
So then that leads me back to wondering like ok, is weed bad for me or is it good for me. I don’t think ultimately it is a question that can be answered. On the one hand, I don’t really have any bad side effects from smoking. I’d say realistically I smoke like a tiny amount compared to other people, but still for me it just “feels” like it might not be right. I’m not sure if a lot of that is do to misinformation from when I was younger going through a system like DARE.
I can say when I’m 100% sober for lets say 3 or 4 days, and by 100% sober I mean zero cafeene, zero cannibus, zero alcohol – I definitely do physically feel the best and I get the best sleep according to my sleep tracker. But it’s also undeniable that I perform better if I take cafeen via cofee, and take 1 or two puffs of a vaporizer weed pen every day or two.
And another thing to consider is my performance at work when I smoke, it is much higher. I have always felt that I have a pretty solid mind – but definitely not some generational mind. And when your trying to create an online software platform you are competing with everyone in the entire world. It’s like thinking you are good at golf and then going to play a round on the PGA. There are some intellectual freaks in the world! When I smoke and can fully control my mind, it definitely helps me compete in this extremely competitive online world