Category: Uncategorized

I feel like I am a pretty equitable person. I am stubborn but usually a good loser when proven wrong. I am also pretty down for anything that rattles the status quo when it comes to “traditions” with regards to women in society and minorities. Because traditions and systems so often include antiquated ways of operating, fraught with racism and sexism.

—So clearly, I’m here to talk about dance lessons.

I’m taking them with my fiance in preparation for our wedding (a gift from his family) and its surprisingly been a lot of fun. I went in to the lessons expecting to learn how to move around with my partner in a way that didn’t involve stepping on toes, looking at my feet, or feeling embarrassed when executing a simple slow dance. I kind of laughed it off when the instructor told me it was a great exercise in communication with your partner. But in the past five weeks I have recognized a lot about how my personality and my passions outlined above impact my communication in my relationship, and our dancing.

Turns out I am kind of bossy, and reacted poorly (internally) to being called the “follow” to his “lead” in dance. Queue internal monologue about women and being told to “follow” in oh so many settings. My struggle with the steps and the following bit forced me to talk to him about what I was having a hard time with as we rotated around the floor in a somewhat haphazard fashion. I laughed and let go a little and practiced letting him lead. And it worked!! We were dancing and it was fun, and it looked passable. I remembered I have trust in who I’m working with to not take advantage or let one dynamic set the tone for all dynamics. I realized I needed to practice that myself. I’m learning to trade off who leads and who follows. It’s helping me let go in other areas where my anxieties may “force” me to take the lead, and I’m liking the outcomes.

to dance!

Using this package here: https://github.com/anhskohbo/no-captcha

composer require anhskohbo/no-captcha
This gave us the error:

Could not fetch https://api.github.com/repos/symfony/polyfill-mbstring/zipball/2 ec8b39c38cb16674bbf3fea2b6ce5bf117e1296, please create a GitHub OAuth token to g o over the API rate limit
Head to https://github.com/settings/tokens/new?scopes=repo&description=Composer+ on+laptop_01-PC+2018-02-20+2229

To fix that we simply retrieved an API token from the URL referenced in the message, pasted it into the command line and hit enter.

In app/config/app.php add the following :

1- The ServiceProvider to the providers array :

Anhskohbo\NoCaptcha\NoCaptchaServiceProvider::class,

2- The class alias to the aliases array :

'NoCaptcha' => Anhskohbo\NoCaptcha\Facades\NoCaptcha::class,

3- Publish the config file

php artisan vendor:publish --provider="Anhskohbo\NoCaptcha\NoCaptchaServiceProvider"

Add NOCAPTCHA_SECRET and NOCAPTCHA_SITEKEY in .env file :

NOCAPTCHA_SECRET=secret-key
NOCAPTCHA_SITEKEY=site-key


4- In templates frontend.blade add this snippet before /head:
{!! NoCaptcha::renderJs() !!}

5- In contact_us.blade add:

in the actual form section:

@if ($errors->has('g-recaptcha-response'))

{{ $errors->first('g-recaptcha-response') }}

@endif


6- In The contact us controller, add the validation requirement to the array of requirements:
'g-recaptcha-response' => 'required|captcha',

7- Now we have everything installed correctly on the form, it should prevent a submission unless the recaptcha is filled out. Once submitted though the form will now error out with the error below:
cURL error 60: SSL certificate problem: unable to get local issuer certificate (see http://curl.haxx.se/libcurl/c/libcurl-errors.html)

Lets fix this error:
Go to http://curl.haxx.se/ca/cacert.pem and download the pem file and save in your php installation directory (C:\wamp64\bin\php) make sure while saving it retains the extension and not saved as a text file.

Now, open your php.ini file, scroll to the bottom and add the following line:

[cURL]
curl.cainfo="C:\wamp64\bin\php\cacert.pem"


Replace the file path above with the path to the certificate on your machine
*once you save the php.ini file restart all services on wamp*

I wonder, is anyone as surprised as I am to find themselves an adult? I think in someways I’ve got it down: I pay my bills on time, I work a full-time job, I have learned how to cook and can keep myself alive, I have decorated apartments and not with posters or string lights or cheap sheets for my bed, and I appreciate NPR news radio in a way  my six year-old self would have never thought possible (ok my 18 year old self too).  But a lot of the time it’s a bit of a shock to find out that I am an adult and what’s more, people look at me like I am an adult.

In all the ways I have a half grasp on adulthood I also feel like I’m nothing but a kid. Let me count the ways: I’m supposed to pay my dad for my car insurance but he forgets and I don’t remind him (also hello 28 year-old, get the title from your dad and get Illinois plates on your car). I have laughable savings, and while I have an IRA and two mutual funds (also with laughable amounts) I could only tell you abstractly at best what the hell those things even are. I put off doctors and dentist appointments like I’m a scared little baby – and even when I read articles about how important it is for me to consider some radical choices for a gene marker I have? I prefer to put those appointments off too. Remember how I said I can cook and survive? I don’t cook for myself nearly as much as I should – thus a reason for my pathetic bank accounts. I think mainly what consistently makes it a shock to me that I am an adult is the struggle it is to keep close the people you love. When I was a kid it was so easy, they were all around me. It’s the adultness (yes that is not a word, you are correct) of living across states from my siblings and across the country from best friends and apart from the people who I feel know me best that shouts *YOU’RE AN ADULT!” The most.

Apparently this in between stage, though it seems to last a lot longer for this generation, will be a time we look back on fondly. I’ve never been a girl to like the unknowns, so I’m looking forward to feeling like I’ve got this adult thing under better control soon. Maybe I’ll start by making a couple appointments and writing my dad a check.

Am I the only person who waits until something new is starting in one area of life to make changes in others?

I start a new job next week and with this new start is the possibility of fresh starts all over the place. I am already getting back into a rhythm of running outside or going to the gym and I think I am going to train for a half marathon and run one for the second time.
Its like I get stuck in behavior/attitude ruts until something comes along to shake me out of it. This weekend I  made some changes in how I have been handling a family situation, and while it was super awkward to see someone for the first time in two years, it took this feeling of guilt mixed with anger away and put me back in control of the situation.

The newness feeling has me wanting things I stopped thinking I could have – because if someone will hire me to help others, I am feeling way more motivated to help myself.

“The remedy for negative self talk, then, is not the search for unanimous praise from the outside world. It’s a hopeless journey, and one that destroys the work, because you will water it down in fear of that outside critic that amplifies your internal one.

The remedy is accurate and positive self talk. Endless amounts of it.” – S. Godin

Super awkward moment when I was walking towards someone I knew freshman year of college in an aisle of the store. I did the eye flash of recognition as I expected them to return and then we’d say hello and keep on keeping on. But…no spark, no return recognition.
Ugh. I wish I just made them feel dumb and said “Hey! how’s it going, been forever!” but I didn’t. Seriously, so awkward. Where’s my ‘I don’t care’ attitude when I need it?!