posts by Julia
If your like me and waking up in the morning is a real struggle, you may find one or both of these wake up songs helpful. I know I enjoy starting my day with them:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu5q_awytxU (as an alarm)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNCSxqcOOTQ (as my snooze alarm)
“I am astonished at the ease with which uninformed persons come to a settled, a passionate opinion when they have no grounds for judgment.”
-William Golding
Over the past couple of days I have read several articles about The University of Michigan being allowed by the Supreme Court to uphold their ban on Affirmative Action, and I cannot help but feel the above quote so adequately fits the situation – for those six on the Court who voted to uphold the ban. I’m sorry, but I do not wish to live in a “color-blind” society. it creeps me out, like some Utopic book where the beginning seems so lovely and nice and then as the pages turn more is revealed about how creativity is stiffled, big brother is controlling everything, or SURPRISE you’re living in a fake microcosm literally locked away from the real world.
There are people of different colors, languages, religions, beliefs, and cultures just as there are people of different genders, sexes, ages and sizes; each with a unique experience of the world (both putting things out differently into the world and receiving things differently from the world).
Justice Roberts had a simple opinion (circa 2007) of the issue, stating “the way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race.” But why does the discrimination have to stop first in an area that is providing a benefit to those who suffered/suffer most from discrimination? Why shouldn’t the discrimination have to stop on the side- the side of those inflicting their prejudices and racism on others from an individual level to the institutional racism?
It reminds me of the simple, passionate, and wrong judgement that the best way to stop a rape from occurring is for the girl to dress more conservatively. Its utter ridiculousness. Our society needs to stop needling the victim and start asking how conversations can begin and behaviors can be taught differently so women can wear what they want and minorities can stop feeling racism and discrimination coming at them every day.
Times are different from the days of segregation and Jim Crow laws, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t much more to work on- and it certainly doesn’t mean America is “off the hook” when in comes to Affirmative Action. I think the day we can safely remove Affirmative Action is two part: 1a. The statistics on hate crimes based on race and skin color are slim to none- or at least consistently even with all other violent crime involving the majority, white society/ 1b. That social cues sighting institutional racism are also gone (my social science research friends can certainly find a way to measure this) and 2. that each child in ANY public school has the same opportunities and learning available to them; to honestly give them a fair playing field on the way to achieving their higher education dreams.
Mic drop. (P.S. sharing a strong opinion is liberating).
I get asked quite often how I’m able to go through life just doing things my own way and seemingly not paying much attention to authority, or the normal “rules of the road”. I work for myself, I do not pay much attention to time or schedules, and to most people I don’t seem to be taking life all that seriously (which is true, I work very hard and I’m very competitive but I do not get worked up about things that most people do).
My answer to everyone is always very simple, and I fear very over-looked. I tell them to Lower your overhead. So what do I mean by that, I’ll explain. Everyone has expenses that you cant avoid (food, shelter, clothes, entertainment ect…). Where a lot of young 20 somethings fall short (and in turn make their life much harder) is that they don’t focus on lowering the “re-occurring fees”. Personally I try to limit my recurring fees, while getting other people to pay me as many re-curing fees as possible. I’ll give a few helpful examples below, but I want to make sure and stress this point. Not having enough money to live is the root of many of our life problems. The key is not to make more money, the key is to lower the bar you need to hit every month while still keeping your quality of life high and giving yourself enough money to enjoy your life (aka pay for entertainment).
-Housing: Using the FHA (first time home buyer) program I purchased a home with 3.5% down. I bought a fixer upper so this 3.5% payment equated to just under 5k. Now when you put so little money down you are forced to buy what is called PMI insurance until the value in equity that you have equals or exceeds 20% of the value on your home. This is not a problem at all if you buy a home that needs updating. For the next 8 months I fixed up the house, and then got the home re-appraised. The house appraised for 40k higher than my purchase price, PMI insurance dropped, happy day. From there I rented the home out, and took what was a 900/month mortgage payment and turned that into a positive cash flow of 150/month through rental income. Net effect I make 150/month to live in my house.
-Transportation: I’m luckier than most in this category due to help from my father. Most young 20 somethings go out and purchase a somewhat fancy/not needed vehicle after graduation from college. This is such a silly idea for 2 reasons. 1 they get saddled with a car payment, and 2 they pay high insurance rates to ensure the car until they turn 26. I drive an 1995 dodge Dakota. Insurance cost 500/year and there is no vehicle loan payment. Net effect: I pay 100/moth for gas and 38/month for insurance.
-Food: One of the best things you can do is make your own food. Its often healthier and way cheaper. A few keys that I have found help me are that I find 3-4 meals that I really “love” and would be happy to eat all the time. Those are reserved for dinners, and I always have the ingredients to make these meals on hand. Examples:
-Frozen turky burger, mixed greens salad, home made salsa, tofu ice cream bar.
-chicken breast with brown rice, sweet potato, mixed greens salad
-solid white albacore tuna mixed with yogert ranch and white vinegar sauce, steamed broccoli
-Clothing: A lot of people my age spend all kinds of money on fancy clothes. Now I’m all for having a couple nice outfits that you can wear if you are going out, or going to a business meeting and need to look presentable. But beyond that, I do absolutely zero clothes shopping. I wear hand me downs from roommates, I wear old clothes from growing up, and that’s about it. It helps that generally I’m working from home so the dress code is pretty lax, but most people spend so much time/energy/money worrying about the clothes they wear… a much better strategy is to spend that time on exercise/eating right.
Overall takeaway: If you just take some time and focus on lowing your cost for housing, transportation and food you will be amazed what kind of positive impact it will have on your life. When its all said and done I only “need” about 600 dollars per month to live on. Now I spend more than that, especially when you factor in services that I purchase to save the most valuable asset we have, our time. But when push comes to shove it is so liberating to know that you don’t need to come up with a ton of money to live. It gives you the freedom to really pursue the life that you want.
My friend and I last minute, decided to go to a show yesterday. She had been listening to one of our favorite bands from a few summers back when we lived together with a third friend. Favorite like we blasted the band’s album daily and subjected friends and boyfriends to it round the clock, whether they liked the quick tempo and our voices screaming the lyrics, or not (disclaimer: I was/ remain the only one of the 3 of us who actually cannot sing. the other 2? perfect pitch. so our sing-a-longs weren’t horrible). Anyway, she found out that the band was in town last night and bought two tickets. Boom, fun night.
Well, yes and no. We got to the venue where I got my bag checked and then patted-down by an older woman who whispered in my ear, “this is totally normal, we do this all the time” which triggered my memory that, no, i had never been patted down when coming to shows here in the past. Guess every day in the gym has been paying off, at least to the satisfaction of 50yr old women. I only got charged $10 for a double Jack and Soda from the guy at the bar, while my friend made the mistake of ordering from the female bartender and got charged $15 for the same drink. Penance for my pat-down.
As we walked down the ramp onto the floor, where about 5 bedraggled looking men were bouncing along to the DJ on stage who was blasting thumping base and mixing songs, we realized the DJ was our guy! We knew he DJ’d in the past but were both freaking out. Where was the band that toured with him and recorded his album with him, where was the quick fun tempo we loved to dance to? Most importantly where were HIS own damn music?! who wants to pay money to see some guy mix songs that aren’t even theirs? (although he did then mix a Paul Simon song and it was actually really fun).
Thank god, he read our thoughts, and with his new chrome DJ set and his shaggy beard- neither one a positive addition to his stage presence – he picked up the mic and sang 3 songs we loved and threw in one new one that was excellent as well. even with all the bass and EDM rhythm.
I think what I learned from this show, as the room started to fill with crazily-dressed raver kids and Bros with hockey jersey on (clearly there for the headliner who sounded horrible) was that our guy who now carried the name of the band on his own, had lost touch with his audience. I am ALL for artistic change, but you can’t just throw us from one extreme to the other. Before you make a drastic change, as someone who is offering a good/service to others and in return makes their livelihood, you should really examine who your audience is and why they love you. Keep some of that in mind when you are in front of them and maybe start by saying, hey this is really new and different BUT don’t worry, some of your old favorites are here too- just remastered.
He almost lost us. if he hadn’t picked up that mic while we were both questioning what he was doing, he would have.
My cousin and I have crashed a tandem bicycle, fortunately in the grass.
We once built a raft out of an old ladder we found in the woods behind our grandparents’ house, rope from jump ropes, old pieces of wood from a rotting tree house some other kids, long grown-up had abandoned, and materials from our grandparents garage that we got in trouble for later. Huckleberry Finn-style we slaved away in the mud at the bank of the creek, thinking maybe it would lead us somewhere great. When we scooted it into the water holding our breath, we were amazed it floated. The only problem was the creek was a foot and a half deep, maybe two. So when we climbed aboard with our snacks for the journey, it dipped slightly and came to a rest on the creek-bed. We were mad, and then we got found-out and got in trouble for stealing things from the garage we shouldn’t have and for trying to float down a dirty creek to “god-knows where”.
Earlier than that, she had two Pocahontas costumes, double gifted to her on her birthday, and we would wear them – running around her house playing and riding in our “canoe” – her toddler brother’s wooden rocking boat.
Once we were hard core and camped outside in her backyard when it got down to around freezing at night, Minnesota spring isn’t a joke. We made it but not without extra blankets. When we were a little older we camped for real, in tents for a week with her dad and his girlfriend. That’s where we crashed the tandem bike.
I think we scarred a childhood friend of hers for life when we barrel-rolled over one another and skipped like pebbles across the water in our life jackets as he watched in horror from the saftey of the Malibu boat of her neighbor, who was taking us tubing at warp speed.
In a more recent winter we played ice hockey with our younger siblings, the black of the lake in the ice beneath our feet.
Back in the day we skied together in ski school groups for spring breaks in Vail and squealed in delighted horror as we went tubing down the mountainside at night.
Getting out and having an adventure with the nature around you. Somehow I lost some of that as we both grew up and I’d like to get it back. Running is great, and running on the lake is gorgeous. But I want to believe a raft will float us away. I want to marvel at the back-bowls when I make it to the top of the mountain. I didn’t need elaborate trips out of the country then to find adventure, and I shouldn’t need them (and can’t afford them) now.
My cousin has found a way to hang on to that adventure, mixing it in with her daily life and the work she does.
May I let that, and our memories together inspire me to find more of it around me.
J.
I woke up today and went to a 6am yoga class, stopped for a coffee on the way home and had time to make my breakfast and lunch. Feeling stretched and energized and ready to take on the day.
Thought I’d also start my day with one of my favorite quotes, that a dear friend wrote in a journal she presented me before I left on my study-abroad adventure back in college.
“Like shrinks or expands, in proportion to one’s courage.”
Too true.
J.