Author: Julia

Categories
Uncategorized

Know your source

If you graduated from high school or college anytime in the early 2000s like I did, I am sure you know the speech turned song “Wear Sunscreen”. Let me feel free to refresh your memory:

“Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.”

“Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.”

“Understand that friends come and go, but with the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need people who knew you when you were young.”

Yes, that speech, remember it now? Anyway, it was used by Baz Luhrmann and put into a song of sorts. I loved that speech. So much so that I googled after I first heard it (2005) and it was attributed as a speech given at a graduation by some guy. Some sites said it was Kurt Vonnegut at MIT, others listed no author.

I haven’t thought about that speech in years, until when reading a fantastic collection of articles by a Chicago Tribune columnist, there it was! It was an article, from a Chicago newspaper, from a woman columnist. Mind blown.

I guess it was naive for me to trust the internet in correctly citing the author of a speech or quote; but it is something a lot of people do.

Note to self, either take the time to properly research where the information you love and were affected by came from or don’t accredit it to anyone- just say its a piece you love. This goes for my facebook “favorite quotes” and should go for yours too.

Categories
Julia

Gratitude

This evening I was walking to the train in a bit of a daze, having a conversation but feeling tired and drained. Not only did I stay up entirely too late the night before (reading a book. yes, it was real crazy) but my team got the boot from round one of the playoffs (Hockey) after what was a high-energy fast paced and exciting start. The series began to look more like playoff round-ones of our past coming back to haunt us, and in the end provided the same dismal outcome.

Anyway, weather-wise it was a fairly nice evening and most people were in a celebratory mood because I live in the city of the other team- the winners (boo). I was making it a point not to look in the bar windows I was passing on the way to the train and brushed off the “I’m sorry about your team’s loss” from my companion because it just made me mad to hear it out loud.

I changed the subject as we entered the train station, digging in my purse for my CTA pass, knowing i’d just had it in my hand yesterday. I slowed as I approached the turnstile and balanced on one foot as I rested my bag on my knee to get a better look at where the heck my card was. A train had just pulled in overhead and a stream of people started coming down the stairs and clicking through the turnstile. This guy came out with headphones on, a fade cut to his blonde hair, sunglasses and a backpack strung across his shoulders. I backed up to get out of his path, as I realized I had inched up pretty close as I was rooting around for my freaking card.

He didn’t bob and weave out of my way but instead matched my move to the side, turned and tapped his own CTA card on the turnstile. It turned green, welcoming me; I smiled and said thank-you, though I couldn’t see his eyes and wasn’t sure he could hear me over whatever music he was listening to.

My mood instantly got better. such a small and inconsequential thing to him really meant a lot to me. How such a simple gesture felt so good. My CTA card? I realized as I boarded the train and headed off into the setting sun towards home…was in my pants pocket from yesterday.

Thank you guy; I bet you have great taste in music to match your sweet and surprising manners.

Categories
Fixing Stuff Julia

Color Blind

“I am astonished at the ease with which uninformed persons come to a settled, a passionate opinion when they have no grounds for judgment.”

-William Golding

Over the past couple of days I have read several articles about The University of Michigan being allowed by the Supreme Court to uphold their ban on Affirmative Action, and I cannot help but feel the above quote so adequately fits the situation – for those six on the Court who voted to uphold the ban. I’m sorry, but I do not wish to live in a “color-blind” society. it creeps me out, like some Utopic book where the beginning seems so lovely and nice and then as the pages turn more is revealed about how creativity is stiffled, big brother is controlling everything, or SURPRISE you’re living in a fake microcosm literally locked away from the real world.

There are people of different colors, languages, religions, beliefs, and cultures just as there are people of different genders, sexes, ages and sizes; each with a unique experience of the world (both putting things out differently into the world and receiving things differently from the world).

Justice Roberts had a simple opinion (circa 2007) of the issue, stating “the way to stop discrimination on the basis of race is to stop discriminating on the basis of race.” But why does the discrimination have to stop first in an area that is providing a benefit to those who suffered/suffer most from discrimination? Why shouldn’t the discrimination have to stop on the side- the side of those inflicting their prejudices and racism on others from an individual level to the institutional racism?

It reminds me of the simple, passionate, and wrong judgement that the best way to stop a rape from occurring is for the girl to dress more conservatively. Its utter ridiculousness. Our society needs to stop needling the victim and start asking how conversations can begin and behaviors can be  taught differently so women can wear what they want and minorities can stop feeling racism and discrimination coming at them every day.

Times are different from the days of segregation and Jim Crow laws, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t much more to work on- and it certainly doesn’t mean America is “off the hook” when in comes to Affirmative Action. I think the day we can safely remove Affirmative Action is two part: 1a. The statistics on hate crimes based on race and skin color are slim to none- or at least consistently even with all other violent crime involving the majority, white society/ 1b. That social cues sighting institutional racism are also gone (my social science research friends can certainly find a way to measure this) and 2. that each child in ANY public school has the same opportunities and learning available to them; to honestly give them a fair playing field on the way to achieving their higher education dreams.

Mic drop. (P.S. sharing a strong opinion is liberating).

 

Categories
Inspirational

Getting What you Want

I’ve been working a lot on figuring out what it is I want, and the internet and great writers’ insights have been helping me to try and figure things out. I haven’t read this book, but  I did pull a quote from it that I really think is important to remember when in the process of trying to figure things out for yourself and your life.

From Alain De Botton’s The Pleasures of Sorrow and Work:

“One of the interesting things about success is that we think we know what it means. A lot of the time our ideas about what it would mean to live successfully are not our own. They’re sucked in from other people. And we also suck in messages from everything from the television to advertising to marketing, etcetera. These are hugely powerful forces that define what we want and how we view ourselves. What I want to argue for is not that we should give up on our ideas of success, but that we should make sure that they are our own. We should focus in on our ideas and make sure that we own them, that we’re truly the authors of our own ambitions. Because it’s bad enough not getting what you want, but it’s even worse to have an idea of what it is you want and find out at the end of the journey that it isn’t, in fact, what you wanted all along.”

This helps me remember to not covet what it appears that other people have, and to remain focused on myself and my own shit. It also strikes a little bit of fear (the good kind) in me to really be motivated to find the work I love to do and the life I want to live, and just live it. As to not end up like someone who may strive hard for what they think others want for them or what they think success is- only to find in the end,  it doesn’t make them happy.

 

Categories
Inspirational

Song of the Day

Several of my friends and I have started a ‘song of the day’ text and its made such a difference to my workday.

One my my ‘song of the day’ songs, that my younger sister introduced me to, pumps me up at work when I am stressed by feelings of inadequacy and in the gym when I am working out and want to stop. It’s totally 80’s sounding but the beat is fun and the lyrics are so great.  I love all genres of music and what makes me love a song are the lyrics, so even if flash-back to 80’s style pop is not your thing…and I know it’s not my co-contributor’s thing AT ALL…I urge you to listen to this song and tell me you don’t feel a little pumped up.

‘Falling’ by Haim

What else is great about this song of the day with my friends is the want to send them a happy song, and so often when left to my own devices I go for sad and slow or sad and fast. Its nice to be recommended and to recommend, happiness.

Happy Monday.

 

Categories
Shorts

Audience

My friend and I last minute, decided to go to a show yesterday. She had been listening to one of our favorite bands from a few summers back when we lived together with a third friend. Favorite like we blasted the band’s album daily and subjected friends and boyfriends to it round the clock, whether they liked the quick tempo and our voices screaming the lyrics, or not (disclaimer: I was/ remain the only one of the 3 of us who actually cannot sing. the other 2? perfect pitch. so our sing-a-longs weren’t horrible). Anyway, she found out that the band was in town last night and bought two tickets. Boom, fun night.

Well, yes and no. We got to the venue where I got my bag checked and then patted-down by an older woman who whispered in my ear, “this is totally normal, we do this all the time” which triggered my memory that, no, i had never been patted down when coming to shows here in the past. Guess every day in the gym has been paying off, at least to the satisfaction of 50yr old women. I only got charged $10 for a double Jack and Soda from the guy at the bar, while my friend made the mistake of ordering from the female bartender and got charged $15 for the same drink. Penance for my pat-down.

As we walked down the ramp onto the floor, where about 5 bedraggled looking men were bouncing along to the DJ on stage who was blasting thumping base and mixing songs, we realized the DJ was our guy! We knew he DJ’d in the past but were both freaking out. Where was the band that toured with him and recorded his album with him, where was the quick fun tempo we loved to dance to? Most importantly where were HIS own damn music?! who wants to pay money to see some guy mix songs that aren’t even theirs? (although he did then mix a Paul Simon song and it was actually really fun).

Thank god, he read our thoughts, and with his new chrome DJ set and his shaggy beard- neither one a positive addition to his stage presence – he picked up the mic and sang 3 songs we loved and threw in one new one that was excellent as well. even with all the bass and EDM rhythm.

I think what I learned from this show, as the room started to fill with crazily-dressed raver kids and Bros with hockey jersey on (clearly there for the headliner who sounded horrible) was that our guy who now carried the name of the band on his own, had lost touch with his audience. I am ALL for artistic change, but you can’t just throw us from one extreme to the other. Before you make a drastic change, as someone who is offering a good/service to others and in return makes their livelihood, you should really examine who your audience is and why they love you. Keep some of that in mind when you are in front of them and maybe start by saying, hey this is really new and different BUT don’t worry, some of your old favorites are here too- just remastered.

He almost lost us. if he hadn’t picked up that mic while we were both questioning what he was doing, he would have.